🏳️‍🌈 Roycooper.gay

UNC Researchers Achieve Medical Advance

2021-01-31

_{^{File. Governor Cooper inspects the corpse of Patrick Jenkins, the first successful test case.}}

This Saturday Governor Cooper announced the state’s 200-million-dollar medical research initiative had finally achieved results. After months of lab testing, University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill scientists have confirmed that they have developed genetic late term abortion techniques which specifically target fetuses based on the presence of ribosomes associated with heterosexuality. Research head, Dr. Sandra Bard, stated that these new techniques could not only detect heterosexuality but also low melanin levels in third trimester fetuses. “This is truly a great day for the field of genetic research and social progress” said Dr. Bard. “By targeting potentially dangerous individuals before they are born we can create a safer world for us all.”

Governor Cooper was pleased to finally see positive results from the initiative he had staked his 2020 Democratic primary campaign on. “This is a tremendous moment for progressive politics in America” said Cooper. “We have found a way to eradicate white guilt at its roots and establish a more equal playing field for LGBTQ+, Black, and Latinx North Carolinians.”